


One Man

by WinchesterPooja (chronic_potterphile)



Series: In This Fight [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Spoilers, Stairway to Heaven, missing moment, tag to episode 9.22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-05-14
Packaged: 2018-01-24 20:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1615826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chronic_potterphile/pseuds/WinchesterPooja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean only needs Cas to be on his side this one time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Man

**Author's Note:**

> This came out in an hour. I should also be concentrating on the pre-final draft of my big bang, but this happened, and I couldn’t stop myself. I just have a lot of Destiel feels right now and I’ll have trouble waking up early but I needed to write this.
> 
> And before you go ahead and read the story, I’d like to say that in this latest spat between Sam and Dean, I do not support either brother more than the other. I understand and accept each of their reasons for doing what they did and saying what they said. This story is from Dean’s point of view, and hence, it might look like I support Dean more than Sam, but I actually don’t. I think Sam has a right to be angry and I think Dean is misinterpreting what Sam said to him. So please don’t assume that I dislike Sam in any way because I adore him much more than I should adore a fictional character, but since this story is all Dean, Sam won’t sound like the best person around. But I do love Sam very, very much.
> 
> Also, this is unbetaed, so there might be mistakes. And this is my first time writing second person point of view, so please be gentle. :)

**One Man**

 

“You gave us order, Castiel, and _we_ gave you our trust.”

 

You relax a little against the hands restraining you and glance at Hannah. You can see the doubt and confusion on Castiel’s face. Your heart races and your eyes swivel between Sam and Cas. You swear to yourself that if anyone touches Sam, lays a finger on him, this will be the end of them. And then you realise that while, at some other point in your life, Sam might have had the same thoughts in this situation, he probably doesn’t care right now.

 

You turn to Cas, the only other person that you really give two craps about, and you wonder what he is thinking. You wonder if he at least feels, in some corner of his heart, that you don’t deserve to be punished — if he believes what you said about Tessa. Even though you never showed him any trust regarding the angel bombers.

 

Suddenly, you feel inadequate. All the adrenaline drains away and you slacken further, thinking of Sam’s words after the Pishtaco case, and after Gadreel had gotten out of him. You remember how hurt he was. You remember how hurt Cas looked, that you didn’t trust him. You’ve been doing nothing but hurting and disappointing your family lately, it seems. Not that it’s been any different at the other points of your life.

 

“Don’t lose it over one man,” says Hannah.

 

You see Castiel narrow his eyes just for a moment. Your heart beats faster, thumping desperately against your ribcage. Cas won’t listen to that that bitch, will he?

 

Will he?

 

The angel sword falls down Hannah’s sleeve and she grips the handle. “This is justice,” she says.

 

Cas takes the blade. Your eyes switch over to Sam again, who’s terrified, and then to Castiel, who still looks confused while his fingers clench around the sword. The same fingers that didn’t hesitate to touch Sam’s forehead and break the very wall that was holding him together; and just because its owner thought he was doing it for the greater good. The same fingers that were in the fist that beat your face into a pulp not very long ago.

 

You know Cas. You know what he can do for the greater good.

 

So you’re going to die. Funny, you always knew you’d die bloody, but you never thought it would be Cas who’d do it. He, as he’d never stopped reminding you all those years ago, was the one who gripped your soul and pulled you out of Hell. And ever since, he’s put you together more than once. Castiel was there when you couldn’t take Sam’s suffering while he detoxed from demon blood. Castiel was there when you couldn’t stand watching the needles sticking out of your brother’s brain. Castiel was always there.

 

He fixed you. And now he’s about to break you.

 

Castiel looks apologetic as he raises the sword. On instinct you lock gazes with him, begging him with your eyes, to spare you (when did it come to this? Dean Winchester doesn’t beg). You don’t usually do this with someone who’s about to kill you. You make small talk. You get snarky. But with Cas, you beg. And it’s not because you’re afraid to die. It’s because you need him to be on your side, just this once. Just for now.

 

He doesn’t lower the blade. You feel a lump rise in your throat and swallow it down as another realisation dawns on you. You had never thought you’d die _alone_. You always thought that there would be at least two people who gave a crap that you were dying. The two people who mean the most — who you can do anything, _anything_ for. But you were wrong.

 

Sammy left. Cas doesn’t want to stay.

 

You wonder when you started wallowing in self-pity (you’ve probably been doing this forever, though), when a voice breaks through the silence like sunlight on a cloudy day.

 

“No.”

 

 

“I can’t,” he says, lowering the blade, and your heart stops running a marathon as you let out a breath. Castiel looks down, breaking eye contact, and you turn away too. The lump in your throat is still there, and you hope for it to vanish, because it’s getting painful.

 

“Goodbye, Castiel,” says Hannah, before starting to walk away. And you watch the rest of them go, you, Sam and Castiel standing side-by-side. It’s supposed to be a reflection of the old times, but it isn’t. You’re going to fight together, again, but this isn’t like the Apocalypse, because even that was better. At least you had a family for real.

 

The three of you stay where you are for a while, silence between you, and then Sam suggests getting back to the bunker, before starting to walk in the direction of the door. Castiel hesitates, follows him after a moment, but you clutch his shoulder, making him turn around and look at you. You hear Sam shut the door behind him as he leaves the building.

 

Castiel is looking into your eyes again, his gaze questioning, but you don’t say anything, because you can’t expect him to understand. Your throat feels clogged, and tightens for a moment, before your eyes start to burn.

 

_Dammit, no._

 

Before Castiel can react to the single tear that starts to make its way out of your eye and down your cheek, you do something that’s purely instinctual. You cup his face with both hands and slowly lean over to rest your forehead on his, shutting your eyes against the storm of emotions wreaking havoc inside you.

 

_Thank you. Sorry. I love you. I love you…_

 

You barely register your erratic thoughts, but are surprised at them. Castiel’s arms wind around you, making your heart miss a beat. You raise your head and watch the concern in his eyes before tilting your face and meeting lips with him. Your hands go to his hair and grip the short strands and you can’t help but like it when he kisses you back.

 

He wipes away the dampness on your face when you break apart, and nods once. You don’t know what happened here. He _definitely_ doesn’t know what happened. But you won’t talk about it. You won’t tell Sam either.

 

You do know, though, that this is the first time that someone has chosen you over the rest of the world.

 

**The End**


End file.
